TV

When I wrote about all my reading, I indicated that I hardly watch any TV anymore. And that is true. But I should give a shout-out to the current incarnation (2005-present) of  Dr. Who, a show whose first ten seasons I surged through last fall. Also I revisited and finally finished the three seasons of "I, Zombie," which I thoroughly enjoyed and recommend to anyone with a Netflix streaming subscription. And lately, "Lucifer," in its third season, is probably my favorite show. I will also try to keep up with "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" and "John Oliver: Last Week Tonight."

Talking about TV also makes me think about those shows I loved but managed to not finish. I watched every episode of "ER," for example, but missed the series finale due to storms interfering with our satellite dish. Some shows I stopped watching as my depression waxed, like "Breaking Bad," "Dexter," "How I Met Your Mother," and others. Instead I would get episode recaps from Matt. This was one of the pains, though minor, I ruminated on, as certain shows he had committed to reached the end of their run soon after his suicide. I would think "Matt, you were so wrapped up in this show; how could you not wait to see what happened at the end?" Such a trivial question, but from personal experience, it is sometimes the little things that manage to keep you going. Your family, your obsessions, your friends, your job or community, those are obviously what enrich the majority of your life, but when clinging to the cliff's edge, another episode of a treasured TV show may make the difference between life and death. I guess this may illustrate a significant departure of my depression from Matt's. But then again, it feels wrong to use television as some significant marker in such a major decision/life event/whatever.

I wish I could talk about the end of [insert TV show here] with Matt. We were so alike, so in-tune, and I miss that terribly. I miss him terribly. If I were a writer, I would construct a script where we end up happily ever after, and all the fans go away happy and we ride off into the sunset.