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Always look on the bright side of life.

Monday, November 05, 2018

Books (again...still?) (IV)


  • Frost Burned* by Patricia Briggs
  • Night Broken* by Patricia Briggs
  • Fire Touched* by Patricia Briggs
  • Silence Fallen* by Patricia Briggs
  • The Chemist by Stephanie Meyer
  • The Hidden Oracle by Rick Riordan
  • The Dark Prophecy by Rick Riordan
  • Percy Jackson and the Olympians 1-3 by Rick Riordan
    • The Lightning Thief
    • The Sea of Monsters
    • The Titan's Curse
  • Death's Mistress* by Terry Goodkind
  • Shroud of Eternity by Terry Goodkind
  • Rogues by George R.R. Martin
  • by Stephen King
    • Sleeping Beauties
    • Misery
    • Carrie
    • Firestarter
    • Salem's Lot
That seems like too few books. But maybe I just felt like it was more because over half were new.

And dang, I have realized that I enjoy Stephen King! I read The Stand long ago (probably at a much too young age), and then this summer I listened to the 48+ hour unabridged audiobook. But I thought that my enjoyment of his work was more of a specialized thing than an all-encompassing one. Regardless, after revisiting The Stand, and then discovering Sleeping Beauties (which just came out last year got robo-recommended by the library after I read Stephanie Meyer's The Chemist**), I asked Mom and Dad which books of his they liked. As a bigtime reader, I am always thrilled to discover an author with decades of book authorship under his belt, especially ones beloved of general library audiences. Mom remembered working at Steak and Ale in the '70s when a woman came in for lunch by herself and was entranced with a copy of (the probably newly released) Salem's Lot. So that's where I started. Major win. Dad's first contribution was Firestarter (an appropriate suggestion from father to daughter, I think, and also great). Misery and Carrie were more the result of available Kindle copies from the library than "must reads." So if anyone has a Stephen King favorite that isn't mentioned here (a few Mom and Dad vetoed rather than proposed...no books where the dog dies!) - I'm all ears. Or eyes. Neither really, but an all-eared, all-eyed reading monster would be a lackluster bad guy for a suspense novel.

**PS on The Chemist - I actually really liked it. I had to pretend over and over that it wasn't written by the woman who gave us Twilight (that was a tiny bit hard when it got PG-rated gooey around the middle, but the moment passed). So yeah, if you see that book and then are about to disregard it because of the author, think twice. :)

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Books (III)

Sharp Objects Flynn, Gillian
Helter Skelter Gentry, Curt
Nicholas and Alexandra Massie, Robert K.
Gone Girl Flynn, Gillian
Manson Guinn, Jeff
The 4 Percent Universe: Dark Matter, Dark Energy, and the Race to Discover the Rest of Reality Richard Panek
Astrophysics for People in a Hurry Tyson, Neil deGrasse
The Witness Wore Red : the 19th wife, who brought polygamous cult leaders to justice Musser, Rebecca
Dragon Bones* Briggs, Patricia.
Dragon Blood* Briggs, Patricia
Stolen Innocence Pulitzer, Lisa
Working Stiff Mitchell, T. J. 
The Road to Jonestown Guinn, Jeff
Breaking Free Jeffs, Rachel
Ascent Into Hell Fergus White
The Reluctant Apostate: Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses Comes at a Price Lloyd Evans

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Books (II)

Keeping on top of things... (I blame the paucity of my books read on Robin Hobb - her dang things are nigh on 800 pages and I'm in the midst of the sequel to "Fool's Assassin" and the first book of a different trilogy! Also I've been watching Mt. Everest documentaries)

156. The Gates of Sleep - Lackey, Mercedes
157. The Serpent's Shadow - Lackey, Mercedes
158. Many Waters* - L'Engle, Madeleine
159. Fool's Assassin - Hobb, Robin
160. Flunk, start : Reclaiming My Decade Lost in Scientology - Hall, Sands
161. Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mount Everest Disaster* - Krakauer, Jon
162. Phoenix and Ashes - Lackey, Mercedes
163. Kushiel's Dart* - Carey, Jacqueline
164. Kushiel's Chosen* - Carey, Jacqueline
165. Kushiel's Avatar* - Carey, Jacqueline
166. Origin: A Novel - Brown, Dan

[ an asterisk * indicates a book I'm re-reading]

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Woo

Today I went to a yoga class for the first time in a long time. I accidentally laughed out loud when, as we reclined in corpse pose at the end, the instructor talked about how we'd just cleansed our bodies of "toxins and metals." Uh huh. I was embarrassed about my soft burst of laughter for about 10 seconds, until I switched to being embarrassed on his behalf, for believing in such woo.

Speaking of woo, if you're a fan of its debunking, I suggest the Merseyside Skeptics Society's podcast "Skeptics with a K."

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Irregardless, I Could Care Less About Grammar

"Irregardless" is not a word. If it were, it would be the negative of "regardless." Here's the definition of regardless:

re·gard·less
rəˈɡärdləs/
adverb
adverb: regardless
  1. without paying attention to the present situation; despite the prevailing circumstances.
    "they were determined to carry on regardless"
    synonyms:anywayanyhow, in any case, neverthelessnonetheless, despite everything, in spite of everything, even so, all the same, in any event, come what may

But if I chose to use the non-word irregardless, I would use it to apply to the phrase "I could care less." Because this phrase is used in the same way as irregardless; that is, in opposition to what the speaker/writer means to say. "I could care less" about unicorns means that you actually DO care some about unicorns. But those who use such a phrase almost universally mean that they do NOT care, in which case the phrase should be "I couldn't care less" - as in, "it is impossible for me to care less than I already do about unicorns," i.e. "I care nothing for unicorns."

So yes, I am "paying attention to to the present situation" of the desecration of the phrase "I could/couldn't care less" and it pisses me off. I think only Matt was subjected to my actual fuming/correction of the phrase "I could care less" (because grammar nazis are not universally adored but husbands don't get a vote). But I would hope that any close friend or family of mine would gently correct me if I had any such routine and egregious gramatical misstep in my lexicon as the aforementioned.

/end rant

PS: I vote in favor of the Oxford comma.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Lucky 13

Thirteen years ago today, my dad walked me down the aisle at the Dallas Arboretum so that I could join my life with Matt's. I am glad that I can still say that, since our wedding, I've still been married longer than widowed. One by one, those little things can no longer be said. For example, Matt died at age 30, and then I could say that I'd been with him half my life. As soon as my next birthday, no longer...

I actually haven't thought much about my wedding anniversary today, this post notwithstanding. It's easier, anyway.

Thursday, June 07, 2018

Noah and the Whale

When I was at Timberline Knolls (TK) the first time, Matt flagged the band "Noah and the Whale" via Spotify as a band he'd been listening to a lot in my absence. It wasn't really until after Matt died that I listened to their album "The First Days of Spring" for the first time. A couple of the songs really...get to me. Especially in the context of losing him.

"The First Days of Spring"

It's the first day of spring
And my life is starting over again
The trees grow, the river flows
And its water will wash away my sins
For I do believe that everyone has one chance
To fuck up their lives
But like a cut down tree, I will rise again
And I'll be bigger and stronger than ever before
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back

"I Have Nothing"

Well, I have nothing
I have no one
I've been so quickly set free
And I love nothing
I love no one
Are words that you whisper in my mind, to someone
I don't know
To someone I don't know
To someone

So walk with me
On this new spring morning
I'll walk you 'till your fears are none
I'm a new baby weeping
I'm the flower you're keeping
That without love will wilt and die
I need your life in my life
Need your life in my life
Need your life

So come back to me
My darling
Come back to me
My darling

I'd do anything to be at your side
I'd be anyone to be at your side
I need your life in my life
Need your light in my life
Need your light

Thursday, May 24, 2018

TV

When I wrote about all my reading, I indicated that I hardly watch any TV anymore. And that is true. But I should give a shout-out to the current incarnation (2005-present) of  Dr. Who, a show whose first ten seasons I surged through last fall. Also I revisited and finally finished the three seasons of "I, Zombie," which I thoroughly enjoyed and recommend to anyone with a Netflix streaming subscription. And lately, "Lucifer," in its third season, is probably my favorite show. I will also try to keep up with "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" and "John Oliver: Last Week Tonight."

Talking about TV also makes me think about those shows I loved but managed to not finish. I watched every episode of "ER," for example, but missed the series finale due to storms interfering with our satellite dish. Some shows I stopped watching as my depression waxed, like "Breaking Bad," "Dexter," "How I Met Your Mother," and others. Instead I would get episode recaps from Matt. This was one of the pains, though minor, I ruminated on, as certain shows he had committed to reached the end of their run soon after his suicide. I would think "Matt, you were so wrapped up in this show; how could you not wait to see what happened at the end?" Such a trivial question, but from personal experience, it is sometimes the little things that manage to keep you going. Your family, your obsessions, your friends, your job or community, those are obviously what enrich the majority of your life, but when clinging to the cliff's edge, another episode of a treasured TV show may make the difference between life and death. I guess this may illustrate a significant departure of my depression from Matt's. But then again, it feels wrong to use television as some significant marker in such a major decision/life event/whatever.

I wish I could talk about the end of [insert TV show here] with Matt. We were so alike, so in-tune, and I miss that terribly. I miss him terribly. If I were a writer, I would construct a script where we end up happily ever after, and all the fans go away happy and we ride off into the sunset.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Books

If I backed off from music in the time since Matt died, the opposite is true of books. I can think of several reasons why: Matt wasn't a big reader, so no baggage there; I have a lot of time to fill, and I read FAST. I don't seem to have the attention span for much video games or TV/movies anymore, either, so really, reading is what I spend way more time doing than anything else.

I thought it might be interesting to try and document what I've read in the last maybe 6-9 months. I do re-read a lot, so I'll indicate re-reads with an asterisk. Mostly I'm compiling this from my library and Amazon history, so I may forget some physical books, especially loaners from others. Anyway, here goes... (not in the order of reading, at all)...


  1. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - Dahl, Roald
  2. Finding Everett Ruess the life and unsolved disappearance of a legendary wilderness explorer - Roberts, David
  3. Lost boy - Jeffs, Brent W.
  4. Lone Wolf - Picoult, Jodi
  5. Thirteen reasons why, a novel - Asher, Jay
  6. Into the silence the Great War, Mallory, and the conquest of Everest - Davis, Wade
  7. The lost explorer finding Mallory on Mount Everest - Anker, Conrad
  8. After dead : [what came next in the world of Sookie Stackhouse] - Harris, Charlain
  9. Eragon* - Paolini, Christopher
  10. Eldest - Paolini, Christopher
  11. Brisingr - Paolini, Christopher
  12. Inheritance - Paolini, Christopher
  13. Hunter - Lackey, Mercedes
  14. Elite - Lackey, Mercedes
  15. Apex - Lackey, Mercedes
  16. The psychopath test a journey through the madness industry - Ronson, Jon
  17. Lone Wolf - Picoult, Jodi
  18. Angels & Demons* - Brown, Dan
  19. The Da Vinci Code* - Brown, Dan
  20. The Lost Symbol* - Brown, Dan
  21. Inferno - Brown, Dan
  22. Dead reckoning - Harris, Charlaine
  23. Deadlocked - Harris, Charlaine
  24. Dead in the family - Harris, Charlaine
  25. Dead and gone - Harris, Charlaine
  26. From Dead to Worse - Harris, Charlaine
  27. All Together Dead - Harris, Charlaine
  28. Definitely Dead - Harris, Charlaine
  29. Dead as a Doornail - Harris, Charlaine
  30. Dead to the World - Harris, Charlaine
  31. Club Dead - Harris, Charlaine
  32. Living Dead in Dallas - Harris, Charlaine
  33. Dead Until Dark - Harris, Charlaine
  34. The Hunger Games - Collins, Suzanne
  35. Catching Fire - Collins, Suzanne
  36. Mockingjay - Collins, Suzanne
  37. Fortune's fool - Lackey, Mercedes
  38. One good knight - Lackey, Mercedes
  39. Raven's shadow - Briggs, Patricia
  40. Raven's strike - Briggs, Patricia
  41. Look me in the eye my life with Asperger's - Robison, John Elder
  42. Be different adventures of a free-range Aspergian with practical advice for Aspergians, misfits, families & teachers - Robison, John Elder
  43. The sleeping beauty - Lackey, Mercedes
  44. Beauty and the werewolf - Lackey, Mercedes
  45. The fairy godmother - Lackey, Mercedes
  46. Masques - Briggs, Patricia
  47. Wolfsbane - Briggs, Patricia
  48. The snow queen - Lackey, Mercedes
  49. Son of Avonar (Bridge of D'Arnath) - Berg, Carol
  50. Guardians of the keep (Bridge of D'Arnath) - Berg, Carol
  51. The Soul Weaver (Bridge of D'Arnath) - Berg, Carol
  52. Daughter of Ancients (Bridge of D'Arnath) - Berg, Carol
  53. Gwenhwyfar the white spirit - Lackey, Mercedes
  54. Owlflight* - Lackey, Mercedes
    Lackey, Merce
  55. Owlknight* - Lackey, Mercedes
  56. Owlsight* - Lackey, Mercedes
  57. The Spirit Lens: A Novel of the Collegia Magica - Berg, Carol
  58. The soul mirror a novel of the Collegia Magica - Berg, Carol
  59. The daemon prism : a novel of the Collegia Magica - Berg, Carol
  60. Foundation (Collegium Chronicles)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  61. Intrigues (Collegium Chronicles)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  62. Changes (Collegium Chronicles)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  63. Redoubt (Collegium Chronicles)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  64. Bastion (Collegium Chronicles)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  65. Closer to home (The Herald Spy Trilogy)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  66. Closer to the heart (The Herald Spy Trilogy)* - Lackey, Mercedes
  67. Closer to the chest (The Herald Spy Trilogy) - Lackey, Mercedes
  68. Leviathan - Westerfeld, Scott
  69. Behemoth - Westerfeld, Scott
  70. Goliath - Westerfeld, Scott
  71. Stories from Jonestown - Fondakowski, Leigh
  72. No god but God : the origins and evolution of Islam - Aslan, Reza
  73. Into thin air a personal account of the Mount Everest disaster - Krakauer, Jon
  74. Written In Red* - Anne Bishop
  75. Etched in Bone* - Anne Bishop
  76. Marked in Flesh* - Anne Bishop
  77. Vision in Silver* - Anne Bishop
  78. Murder of Crows* - Anne Bishop
  79. Lake Silence - Anne Bishop
  80. Moon Called* - Briggs, Patricia
  81. Night Broken* - Briggs, Patricia
  82. Frost Burned* - Briggs, Patricia
  83. River Marked* - Briggs, Patricia
  84. Silver Borne* - Briggs, Patricia
  85. Bone Crossed* - Briggs, Patricia
  86. Iron Kissed* - Briggs, Patricia
  87. Blood Bound* - Briggs, Patricia
  88. Fire Touched* - Briggs, Patricia
  89. Silence Fallen* - Briggs, Patricia
  90. On The Prowl* - Briggs, Patricia
  91. Cry Wolf* - Briggs, Patricia
  92. Hunting Ground* - Briggs, Patricia
  93. Fair Game* - Briggs, Patricia
  94. Dead Heat* - Briggs, Patricia
  95. Burn Bright - Briggs, Patricia
  96. Fifty Shades of Grey* - James, EL
  97. Fifty Shades Darker* - James, EL
  98. Fifty Shades Freed* - James, EL
  99. Grey - James, EL
  100. Darker - James, EL
  101. Take a Thief* - Lackey, Mercedes
  102. Oathblood* - Lackey, Mercedes
  103. Oathbreakers* - Lackey, Mercedes
  104. Exile’s Valor* - Lackey, Mercedes
  105. Exile’s Honor* - Lackey, Mercedes
  106. By the Sword*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  107. Winds of Fate*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  108. Winds of Change*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  109. Winds of Fury*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  110. Storm Warning*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  111. Storm Rising*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  112. Storm Breaking*  - Lackey, Mercedes
  113. Dust and Light - Berg, Carol
  114. Ash and Silver - Berg, Carol
  115. Flesh and Spirit* - Berg, Carol
  116. Breath and Bone* - Berg, Carol
  117. Transformation (The Books of the Rai-kirah)* - Berg, Carol
  118. Restoration (The Books of the Rai-kirah)* - Berg, Carol
  119. Revelation (The Books of the Rai-kirah)* - Berg, Carol
  120. Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened - Brosh, Allie
  121. Arrows of the Queen* - Lackey, Mercedes
  122. Arrow's Flight* - Lackey, Mercedes
  123. Arrow's Fall* - Lackey, Mercedes
  124. Pathways - Lackey, Mercedes
  125. Tempest* - Lackey, Mercedes
  126. Crucible* - Lackey, Mercedes
  127. No True Way* - Lackey, Mercedes
  128. Under the Vale* - Lackey, Mercedes
  129. Sword of Ice* - Lackey, Mercedes
  130. Sun in Glory* - Lackey, Mercedes
  131. Crossroads* - Lackey, Mercedes
  132. Moving Targets* - Lackey, Mercedes
  133. Changing the World * - Lackey, Mercedes
  134. Finding the Way* - Lackey, Mercedes
  135. Wizard's First Rule* - Goodkind, Terry
  136. Stone of Tears* - Goodkind, Terry
  137. Imperial Order* - Goodkind, Terry
  138. Blood of the Fold* - Goodkind, Terry
  139. Temple of the Winds* - Goodkind, Terry
  140. Soul of the Fire* - Goodkind, Terry
  141. Faith of the Fallen* - Goodkind, Terry
  142. The Pillars of Creation* - Goodkind, Terry
  143. Naked Empire* - Goodkind, Terry
  144. Chainfire* - Goodkind, Terry
  145. Phantom* - Goodkind, Terry
  146. Confessor* - Goodkind, Terry
  147. The Law of Nines - Goodkind, Terry
  148. The Omen Machine* - Goodkind, Terry
  149. The First Confessor: The Legend of Magda Searus* - Goodkind, Terry
  150. The Third Kingdom* - Goodkind, Terry
  151. Severed Souls* - Goodkind, Terry
  152. Warheart * - Goodkind, Terry
  153. Sebastian* - Anne Bishop
  154. Belladonna* - Anne Bishop
  155. Bridge of Dreams* - Anne Bishop
Well that's all I can manage today. If someone (you magical reader, who somehow checks this blog despite its utter neglect) remembers something I need to add, let me know. Otherwise, I will just express my gratefulness that there are people out there writing books that are compelling enough to keep someone willing to stick around to see what comes next.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Music

One of the things that was tainted by Matt’s death was music. You’d think something so huge, so varied, would manage to escape the ravages of the aftermath of suicide. But no. I almost completely stopped listening to my personal music collection. I replaced the hole with podcasts. And that wasn’t all bad - for example, last fall in Austin I attended a VIP event with the hosts of one of my favorite podcasts (“God Awful Movies,” also “The Scathing Atheist” and “The Skepticrat” and “Citation Needed”) and that was an amazing experience. Hell, Matt Dillahunty personally extended an invitation to stay with him and his wife if I wanted to visit Austin but couldn’t crash with my sister.

But why am I posting today? Well I’ve been trying to reclaim music. What works best is music that I listened to/liked before Matt and I were serious. So there’s a lot of 1990s classics, like Nine Inch Nails and Korn (my first rock concert ever). And it’s been pretty great. I do love music. It digs down into this visceral part of me and extracts all sorts of emotions. Some of them do make me think of Matt, like the Incubus album I bought junior year of high school, or anything played during the 2000 tour of Metallica/Korn/System of a Down/ Kid Rock/Powerman 5000 at Texas Stadium where we were in the mosh pit (and so hot! But feeling so alive!). But some of the music just reminds me of a time where I felt optimistic and hopeful. And I can certainly use a lot of that.

So I will continue trying to reclaim music. Listening to lyrics yelling “dead bodies everywhere” certainly seems less than hopeful, but maybe some raging against the machine via music will let me be more positive in other aspects of my life. I might as well try anything at this point, right?